Lulu's Talking Asshole (1985)

I usually don’t use crude language when reviewing a classic porn film, but in the case of the film Lulu’s Talking Asshole, I feel I have no choice. This movie came out in 1985 and stars Lina Romay. She has a peculiar problem, it seems her asshole talks with the voice of a little girls, and whenever it’s licked or fingered it giggles. In addition to that bit of strangeness her asshole can do other funny things such as smoke cigarettes. Sadly the film has only been released on DVD in Spain, and that’s the version I saw, which isn’t subtitled, so I can’t tell you exactly what her asshole was saying, but no doubt something very amusing. The film isn’t hard to follow at all, in fact it’s pretty much a wall to wall sex film. Fans of Lina Romay’s will find this film a must see. She is a little plumper than she was in her early films of the early 1970’s, but she is still very attractive. At one point in the film she sticks an academy awards Oscar up her asshole. Clearly Lina Romay and Jess Franco weren‘t trying to endear themselves to the Academy. Lina Romay I must say when giving oral sex to her male costars is very into it, she isn’t just giving oral sex, she is sucking really really hard, in a way I hadn’t really seen from another female performer. Lina Romay seemed to be very good at giving oral sex in her films. The other thing she was good at was getting naked and flopping around on a bed and masturbating, of which she does that in this film too. Jess Franco directed this film, and he and Lina Romay have become one of the most enduring movie actress/director teams of all time, working together for nearly 40 years up to the present day. This movie begs to be subtitled, but even without understanding the language I was in disbelief at some of the things going on, and found the film very funny, and it’s probably much funnier if you can understand what Lulu’s Talking Asshole is saying. A very good film, that fans of classic porn will find enjoyable.
Just a little about Jess Franco. I think he’s one of the most unique and talented directors in movie history. He started out working as an assistant with Orson Welles in the 1950’s, before becoming a director on his own in the early 1960’s. He was at one time in the 1960’s considered one of the most promising upcoming young directors in European cinema. All that changed though in the 1970’s with the legalization of porn in France where he was working and he dove straight into hardcore. Unfortunately this hurt his career for many years and he was forced to deal with lower budgets. It was not until 1988 that he was again given a big budget to make a non porn film. I think what Jess Franco did took real courage, to abandon a very promising mainstream career and go and do the kinds of film he really liked and believed in. Most directors would have sold out and took the big paycheck and not stuck by their artistic vision. Jess Franco would go on to make the first legal porn film in Spain after it was legalized in Spain, his homeland, in the 1980’s.